Sleep and Texting Don’t Mix

Time for a mid-week pick-me-up, huh? Come on. You know you need a laugh.

This is another story on me (self-centered much?). So let me give you a bit of background, since I seem to be so fond of it.

I’m a night owl. Always have been. But when I finally go to bed, I can’t stand being woken up (even by the alarm). That’s the reason why I keep my phone on silent during the night. If you need me, sorry. It can wait until morning. This means I don’t just wake up in the middle of the night and go on a texting spree.

Except for one time.

At the time, my phone (not the smart kind) had a setting that let me push certain keys and it would spell out the word for me. It was, by no means, right every time. But it was handy.

So one night I woke up and for some reason decided to check my phone. As in, my text-senses were tingling. I was right. My fiance, then boyfriend, Kirk had texted me before he went to bed. It was a long, mushy text telling me how much he loved me. It was super sweet. For some reason, I decided I wanted to text him back. I typed out my love-you-too text, hit send, and fell asleep again.

Fast forward to the next morning. I woke up and couldn’t remember if I had said anything back since he hadn’t replied.

It shocked him that I had texted back in the first place. What I said was even more surprising–so much so that he had nothing to say. The following quote is exactly what I sent back to his sweet, loving, oh-so thoughtful text that must’ve taken him at least five minutes to peck out on his flip phone.

“Aw, I love you too. Makes it it giving too. Your my hairless.”

How I thought that equaled lovey-dovey is beyond me, but somewhere in my sleep-addled brain the phrase “Your my hairless” (no, not “you’re”) equaled love. He’s been my hairless ever since.

And no, he doesn’t shave on a daily basis.

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